The Candor Gap

When Feedback Becomes a Weapon

"Feedback without candor is a wolf in sheep's clothing."

It uses the professional structure of a "performance conversation" to deliver a psychological blow, often serving to diminish the receiver rather than develop them.

1. The Core Argument

In a healthy environment, feedback is a tool for alignment. However, when stripped of candor—the combination of personal care and direct challenge—feedback transforms into a mechanism for bullying. Without candor, the "feedback" is no longer about the work; it is about the power dynamic.

2. Three Ways "Evil" Feedback Masks Bullying

A. The Mask of Objectivity

Bullying often hides behind the Evaluation intent. By using clinical or corporate jargon, the giver makes a personal grievance sound like an objective fact.

  • The Difference: True feedback identifies a specific behavior. Bullying identifies a "fundamental flaw."

B. The Psychological Trap

This is the most "evil" form of feedback. It involves Psychological Evaluation—assigning motives to a peer's subconscious. Telling someone they have a "fear of success" or an "avoidant personality" isn't helpful; it's an attempt to control the narrative of who that person is.

C. The Specificity Gap

Candor requires enough detail for the receiver to actually change. Bullying thrives on vagueness (e.g., "People are saying you're difficult"). This creates a state of constant, unaddressable anxiety.

Identifying "Evil" Feedback in the Wild

The Statement The Candor Gap (What's Missing) The Underlying Intent
"I'm just being honest, you're not cut out for this." Empathy & Guidance. Honesty without care is just cruelty. To undermine confidence and force an exit.
"You need to fix your attitude if you want to stay." Actionability. "Attitude" is a subjective label, not a behavior. To maintain a power imbalance through vagueness.
"Your need for validation is exhausting the team." Professional Boundaries. This is a character judgment, not work feedback. To pathologize the person's work style.

The Antidote: True Candor

True candor is an equalizer. It requires the giver to be vulnerable by admitting their perspective and showing they are invested in the other person's success. If the giver isn't interested in the receiver's growth, it isn't feedback—it's noise.

Sources & Conceptual Frameworks

This content is synthesized from established organizational psychology and communication frameworks:

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